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Sunday 27th March 2005
Farewell - no words to say
Needed elsewhere
Tears of love tears of fear
[We fade into the Staples Center in Los Angeles, and we capture view of the stage. It’s a large set designed with two spiked beds on either side of a balcony where two angelic waxwork figures stand, the video wall is designed in the form of the devilish figure who appeared on the promotional banners with an extensive stage sweeping around and connecting with the ring mats at the bottom. A “Live” logo appears on the top right of the screen.]
[The scene has opened to a silent crowd, they mutter between themselves, some are expressing their excitement for the pay per view to begin, while others are talking about who they think is the hottest diva. Suddenly the gentle guitar opening of the Nightwish song “Angels Fall First” begins to play to the packed audience. The band slowly rises up from underneath the stage with the lead female singer Tarja curled around a mysterious man’s leg.]
[She begins to sing, dressed in a long white gown with her hair flowing in the wind and her face doused in white make-up. She looks like she is begging for forgiven from the shadowed man, whose long blonde hair shadows his face. As the more instrumental part of the song plays, with the sound of flutes the man walks off the stage and Tarja rises to feet and sings openly to the arena.]
[As the song progresses we see children dressed as angels acting like their falling from the ceiling, as they’re held up by invisible strings, and frantically clutch for the air. As the song comes to a close, the lights in the arena dim and a red and grey sparkle pyro erupts from in front of the Finnish band.]
[The instrumental of the song plays as the lights resume and we pan around the arena to see such sings as “Star’s my mommy!” “I want to drive Ferrari!” and “Bring in the Transsexuals!” are a few the artworks that are placed around the arena, alongside the usual signs sporting their favourite wrestlers. We cut to JLT, who is wearing a blue evening gown, and Leah who is wearing a white dress and a halo.]
JLT: I can’t believe you’re dressed like that Leah…
Leah: Jamie, I do not need fashion advice from you. You have to have boobs to pull of an evening gown, and you have none. My halo represents the event, this is Angels Fall First and guess what I am? An angel! That’s why I had to swap our chairs because mine was a little creeky anywhere and I am not take any chances.
JLT: Well you know your fat ass would probably decrease the impact, welcome to Angels Fall First everybody! We’re coming to you live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles! This is one of the world’s most famous arenas, and we are hoping to put on one of the world’s greatest sporting events tonight! I’m Jamie L Tyland, and I’m joined by my good, well I’m just joined by Leah!
Leah: Thank you J, we have an awesome line-up tonight featuring a barrage of Divas Unleashed’s finest wrestlers all going head to head in matches that will make your mouth-water! I think it’s fitting to start by talking about our main event, as we’ll see Star defend her championship against not one lesbian, but two! Our Glittering Goddess will be taking on Faith Von Almen and Hope Clarkson in a triple threat match for the most prestigious championship in DU!
JLT: I cannot wait for that one! I’m also looking forward to seeing the first-ever “Easter Sunday Special” match when Katrina, Laura and Miss Perfect all tie up in another triple-threat match with the Stripped Championship on the line. I’m looking forward to see Latrisha’s first title defense, and also to see if Laura will finally achieve her goal and how Katrina will fair, I’m telling you it’s going to be hard to say who is going to win that match! I’m also wondering what kind of match it will turn out to be from a stipulation point of view, I hope the Easter Bunny comes out!
Leah: God, what is it with all these homosexuals? The Rockford State Championship is also on the line as new champion Annabelle Lee will face stiff competition from Liberty Deveraux, Lilith and Mystika. This match was set up when Chester groped Annabelle’s breasts, and then it was basically a war-zone on last Exile, so I think all women are looking forward to getting some kind of retribution tonight, and will be setting their sites on returning home with the title belt firmly around their waist! But, that still won't improve their looks.
JLT: Leah, I'm sorry, but I am not going to do a show with you unless you don't stop putting in your silly personal remarks, before we came on air, you kept swapping my drinks over and over and you messed up my script, since you're so capable then you do the introduction yourself!
Leah: What?! What did I do? I didn't do anything, you're the lesbian, you're all "Ooh, I'm married to some man nobody has ever seen yet I find Laura sexually appealing", whatever, now, come on, stop playing and get on with the introduction.
JLT: ...
Leah: Jamie! Do it! It's your part! The producer is screaming up us, oh, you know what, just cut to the first match. You need to deflate your ego, honestly, stupid dyke.
Debutants Match
[Estela Hernandez comes to the ring, with Katsumi already in it and confident with her manager looking on from the sidelines. The two square off against each other with Estela getting the upper hand in the beginning of the match with the crowd’s occasional taunts edging her to continue to dominate her opponent with DDTs, suplexes and the occasional high risk move.]
[Katsumi and Estela tied up several times, with Estela getting the advantage on most with a headbutt and following up with an impacting move to the canvas. Katsumi manages to swing the momentum when a Star chant starts, and climbs to the top rope to assault her opponent aerially.]
[Katsumi executes her finisher on Estela, allowing Katsumi to pick up a victory at her first pay per view. At the end of the match, Katsumi and Eiji tell the cameras that they are gunning for the Regime as Estela gets to her feet.]
[We cut backstage to the locker room of Bianca White, Helen Krueger and Christy Jameson. Christy is getting dressed by lacing up her shoes for the upcoming match, while Bianca is doing a last minute hair and make-up check. Helen Krueger then emerges from the bathroom in a black and blue all-in-one wrestling suit and Bianca shakes her head. Bianca walks up to Helen, who smiles at her.]
Bianca White: Helen, don’t panic. I know a good stylist, we can fix this. They’ll make you look like a Hollywood superstar? Look at me, I’m practically ready to walk onto a red carpet and I look fabulous all the time.
Helen Krueger: Thanks for the offer Bianca, but I like how I look.
Bianca White: But, why?
Helen Krueger: I’m not some new age, silicon hooker. I represent wrestling when it was at it’s finest, I look great. I’m not exactly 21 either, and I like that I’m representing the 80’s generation of wrestling. I think it’s something fresh, new and exciting. Don’t you agree?
Bianca White: Not really, but each to their own.
Helen Krueger: Thank you for the offer though, it was nice of you.
[Bianca nods and gives a half-smirk before turning back to the mirror, Helen then rummages through her bag and we fade to their rival locker room. We see Lydia Frost’s Amazon figure doing stretches to prepare for the match, while Ciara Demillo and Phoenix sit discussing strategy with one another. Ciara calls out to Lydia.]
Ciara Demillo: Aren’t you going to join us?
Lydia Frost: Do you think that’d be a good idea?
Ciara Demillo: Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?
[Ciara stands up and turns to Lydia, Lydia stops stretching and approaches her.]
Lydia Frost: You’re apart of the Regime, that Star person’s stable. I don’t think it’s wise that we get too involved with one another, especially after Shelly the Bod decided to assault me last week.
Ciara Demillo: She did you a favour? What is it with people? You do them a favour, and then they get all pissy about it, it ain’t right.
Lydia Frost: She attacked my opponent! I wanted to do a fair match so people could see me wrestle. I don’t expect her to suddenly come and disrupt things just because her stable mate is the Unleashed Champion. I just don’t think I should trust the Regime, and I’m going to be looking for a victory tonight, I am not going to be looking for a tag team partner…
Phoenix: Lydia, Ciara, I’m on this team too. I’m not going to lose because of your personal differences. I’m going to have KJ Xanathos at my side too, and he’s going to be watching to make sure that nothing illegal goes down. This match is important, it’s my first ppv match, and I am not losing it because you two crybabies don’t like each other!
[Phoenix leaves the room, Ciara rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Lydia gives her a stern look, as all three women take a spaced exit from the locker room not wanting to walk to the ring together. We cut back to ringside.]
JLT: Tensions are rising between the Phoenix team, do you think that could cost them in the match?
Leah: I don’t know, although Helen did seem a little offended by Bianca’s comments. I think that there’s a lack of teamwork here, this is the first time they’re going to be teaming together, and the match is up next. We can expect some quality action.
JLT: Indeed we can, it’ll be a good chance to see them as a tag team and also as individual competitors, and it’s coming up next!
Triple Threat Match
[Lydia Frost uses her size as an advantage to tackle Christy Jameson in the early stages of the match, beating her from side to side until Helen Krueger is in. Helen allows for the pure wrestling to flow, using back body drops and old school moves to outsmart Lydia before Lydia is able to tag in the quicker Phoenix who goes airbourne to undercut the growing domination of Helen in the match. Phoenix tries a cover but Helen kicks out.]
[During the course of the match, Ciara Demillo and Lydia both enter the ring and blindly to the referee assault Phoenix and Christy. Bianca comes to their defense, by spearing Ciara to the mat and relentlessly grounding her. Lydia picks her up in a monkey press but the referee orders her to let her down, Lydia ignores him.]
[The ref being distracted with trying to keep the match in order, as Phoenix, the one who is the legal person in the ring, tries to get in the action, but she was stopped when feeling someone grabbing hold of her arm. Phoenix turns around to meet the person who, instead she met a vicious guitar shot to the head by no other then Katsumi Asaka. Phoenix lies unconscious in the ring with broken pieces of the wooden guitar. Katsumi even has the nerve to drop down and talk smack to her, slap her in the face of couple of times before noticing the ref has gotten control of the match. Katsumi swiftly exits out of the ring and disappears through the crowd, leaving Phoenix unconscious.]
[Despite the interference, Bianca White and Ciara Demillo end up fighting once again but a move by Lydia keeps Helen occupied as Ciara executes her finisher and slides into a pin. Ciara covers for three count as her team picks up the victory, and she leaves the ring alone leaving the referee tending to Phoenix.]
[Ferrari is backstage with her lawyer, she is dressed in her ring attire and has her attorney Mr. Law covering his eyes. Ferrari then positions him in front of a shiny new red sports car, and she smiles.]
Ferrari: Okay, you can open them now.
[Mr. Law opens his eyes, and looks confused. He turns to Ferrari who giggles and smiles at him.]
Ferrari: What do you think?
Mr. Law: Of what?
Ferrari: My new sports car!
Mr. Law: Why did you buy a sports car, and since when did you have the money to go on a spending spree? You haven’t done any adult movies in ages, and you haven’t had matches in like three weeks?
[Ferrari laughs, she grabs Mr. Law’s shoulders.]
Ferrari: It’s 'Felicity’s' money, it’s not like I’m poor or anything, I have the money to spend on what I want anyway. I just thought I’d treat myself with the D69 royalties!
Mr. Law: Ferrari, this is crazy, you haven’t even won the match yet!
Ferrari: Don’t you have any confidence in me? I’m going to mop the floor with that old has-been, she’s like 38 and still trying to put a career together, that’s just embarrassing. She was the one who got too big for her boots, she’s the one who has caused all this mess! She turned her back on me, so I turned my back on her, I didn’t care about those stupid tag titles, but I know that she was clinging onto them like a glimmer of hope.
Mr. Law: But, it’s not certain you’re going to win! It’s a street fight! Anything could happen!
Ferrari: Exactly. I’m able to extract my revenge on Felicity using any kind of weapons I want, and that’s awesome. Just you wait and see, her career is going to be over by the time this match is done!
[Ferrari gives her lawyer a confident smirk, as he shakes her head and follows her into the arena. We fade to another backstage location where we see Lacey Ryden sitting behind a desk, Mya is leaning against the front of it scratching the black paint off of her nails and watching the huge television which shows a currently empty ring and arena. Lacey is doing paperwork, and she stamps a document with a red object and puts it into a letter. Mya breaks the silence.]
Mya: Lacey?
Lacey Ryden: Yes Mya?
Mya: Do you like this job? Fiddling with papers, running about for other people, and just being a kiss-ass? Don’t you ever think it should be the job of someone much less talented than you?
Lacey Ryden: Sometimes I get that way. I just figure that while I’m not wrestling, it’s earning me extra money and I’m also keeping on top of my opponents. I get to see all their contracts, and everything about them when I do filing for you, and what’s a better insight into a match?
Mya: That’s true, you’re smart.
Lacey Ryden: Thanks.
[The phone rings next to Lacey, she waits a few seconds before putting her pen down and picking up the phone. Mya looks at her as she conducts her telephone conversation.]
Lacey Ryden: Hello, Mya’s office, how may I help?...This is her secretary…Yes…Okay I’ll pass you over…
[Mya rolls her eyes, Lacey hands her the phone and goes back to work. Mya speaks to the person on the other line.]
Mya: Hello…yes I do…what…when?...where?...you’re useless!
[Mya slams the phone down onto it’s holder, and Lacey looks up with a confused look on her face.]
Lacey Ryden: Don’t tell me that was Austin saying he’s wasted another batch of pregnancy tests, I told him yesterday to stop taking them himself!
Mya: It wasn’t that, it was worse. We need to call an emergency meeting, Lacey go and round up the Occult and tell them it’s very, very urgent!
Lacey Ryden: I’ll do it after I finish this…
Mya: NO, you have to do it NOW!
[Lacey gets off her chair, she exits the room as the phone rings once again. Mya picks it up and hurls it at the wall smashing a mirror into hundreds of pieces below, Mya then shakes her head and runs her hand through her hair nervously.]
JLT: What was that about?
Leah: Did you see that Mya broke a mirror?! That’s seven years bad luck! I bet something tragic happens for Mya tonight, all because of that one mirror-smashing incident!
JLT: Well I don’t really believe in that kind of stuff, but I’m wondering what the phonecall was about to spark an emergency meeting for the Occult, Mya’s hardly the one to let grass grow under her feet though.
Leah: Do you think Krysta Taylor found out she’s secretly an android and is having a lesbian affair with Anne Heche?
JLT: Nevermind.
Diva 69 Royalties Match
The two women circle each other, slowly. Then, they lock up. Ferrari backs Felicity up into the corner and the ref breaks it up. Ferrari breaks the hold and then slaps Felicity. Felicity grabs Ferrari by the hair and switches their positions. She starts to wail on Ferrari, elbowing her in the head. Then, Felicity grabs her hair again and tosses her out of the corner with it. She follows up, bouncing off the ropes and nailing Ferrari with a flipping senton. Then, she grabs Ferrari’s right arm and locks in an armbar.
She keeps it locked on for a good thirty seconds, before Ferrari rolls back, trying to get out of it. Felicity keeps the armbar locked on, turning it into a reverse armbar. Ferrari is able to grab the ropes and Felicity breaks the hold. Felicity grabs Ferrari back to the middle of the ring and delivers a leg drop to Ferrari’s right arm, working on it now. She delivers two more, before picking Ferrari up.
Felicity whips Ferrari off of the ropes and goes for a back body drop. Ferrari flips over her though, with a sunset flip, attempting a pin. She only gets a two count though. Both women get up and Ferrari sends Felicity back down to the mat with a dropkick. She quickly follows up, locking Felicity’s left leg in a standing leglock. Then, Ferrari rolls her over, putting her in a one-legged Boston Crab. Ferrari breaks the hold, after Felicity refuses to give up. She starts to stomp on Felicity’s left knee, working it over.
She picks Felicity up and throws her into the corner. She kicks Felicity in the gut a few times, before putting her on the tope rope. She quickly climbs up and nails Felicity with a tope rope hurracanrana. She goes for the pin, but only gets a close two count. Ferrari hits the mat in frustration, before picking Felicity up. She pushes her up against the ropes and nails Felicity with a few chops. Ferrari backs up and tries to clothesline Felicity over the tope rope, but Felicity is ready and back body drops Ferrari over the top rope.
Felicity waits for Ferrari to get up. Then, she bounces off the ropes, jumps up to the opposite tope rope and jumps off, nailing Ferrari with a Shooting Star Press. Both women lay on the outside of the ring, hurt by the last move. Soon though, they both get up and starts to fight again. They exchange punches, before Felicity grabs Ferrari and whips her into the steel steps.
Felicity picks Ferrari up again and brings her over to the announce table. Next, she proceeds to slam Ferrari’s head into it. She grabs her again and whips her into the side of the ring, following up by spearing her into it. Felicity lets her drop and she proceeds to look under the ring. Out from under it comes a garbage can, a chair and a ladder.
She picks up the chair and turns around, only to have it superkicked into her face by Ferrari. Then, Ferrari pulls the ladder out all the way from under the ring. She goes back to Felicity, picks her up and bodyslams her onto the ladder. The camera gets a close up on Felicity, who’s now bleeding from the forehead. Ferrari grabs the ladder and pushes it into the ring throguh the second rope. It doesn’t go in all the way, so she goes into the ring. As she tries to bring it into the ring , Felicity gets back up and hits it, nailing Ferrari right under the chin with it.
Felicity gets into the ring, but Ferrari is ready and kicks her in the stomach. Next, she sends Felicity to the mat with a snap suplex. Ferrari follows up, giving Felicity some Hawaiian Punch. Ferrari gets off of Felicity and grabs the ladder. She leans it up against the turnbuckles in an corner and goes back to Felicity. She brings her back up to her feet. Ferrari tries to whip Felicity into the corner, but it gets reversed and she ends up crashing into it.
Ferrari stumbles back out of the corner, right into Felicity, who nails her with a German suplex. Ferrari kicks out though, which frustrates Felicity. She gets up, waiting for Ferrari to try to. Ferrari gets to her knees and Felicity nails her with the Bitch Kick. She pins Ferrari, but gets a two count again. Next, Felicity pulls Ferrari up off the mat. Then, she bounces off the ropes and nails Ferrari in the face with a dropkick.
Felicity picks Ferrari up and whips her off the ropes. She goes for a hip toss, but Ferrari reverses it and nails Felicity with one. Then, Ferrari nails Felicity with a leg drop, rolls back, gets up and quickly nails her with another one. Next, Ferrari grabs the ladder and pushes it over onto Felicity. Ferrari picks Felicity up, throws her into the ropes and flapjacks her onto the ladder.
Ferrari goes for a pin, but only gets a two count. She slowly gets up and goes back to the ladder. She sets it up in front of the corner and looks over at Felicity. She climbs outside, then onto the turnbuckle and starts up the ladder. Then, Felicity gets up, starting to climb up the other side of the ladder. The women meet at the top of the ladder and start to exchange punches.
They two women go back and forth, neither showing signs of wanting to give in. Felicity gets the upper hand though and slams Ferrari’s face into the top of the ladder. She grabs hold of Ferrari, bringing them up higher on the ladder. Then, both women go crashing to the mat as Felicity nails Ferrari with a superplex from the top of the ladder. Both women lay motionless for quite sometime, but Felicity is soon the first up. She uses the ropes to get up as Ferrari starts to move. Felicity looks over at Ferrari and then gets close to her, waiting. Ferrari gets up and turns towards Felicity. Felicity kicks her in the gut and positions her between her legs. Then, Felicity nails Ferrari with the Styles Clash! Felicity makes the pin and gets the three count.
Felicity raises her arms in victory, and smiles to the crowd before she suddenly looks dizzy and falls backwards into the referee and slides down him and hits the floor. The referee looks concerned and checks her over, lying Felicity on her back. The referee then calls for medics, as they rush down the aisle towards a collapsed Felicity and begin to check her over, before loading her onto a stretcher as we fade backstage.
[Sexy Amanda is seen backstage, she picks up a candle and her championship belt is hung over her forearm. She exits the room when suddenly she ducks to avoid an oncoming chair shot. The camera moves to see that Jessie Lockhart and Julie Foxx are standing in the hallway, Amanda drops the candle and her belt and tries to fight back but Julie Foxx grabs her in a full nelson and Jessie assaults her with a kendo stick to the face and to the gut. Julie shoves Amanda to the floor, and begins to stomp on her rapidly and Jessie drives a chair into her back once more. Azrael suddenly comes from behind to both women shouting, and they run off as Azrael leans down to Amanda and starts to call for medics.]
[We fade back into the locker room of current power-hounds the Occult. Lilith is standing in the corner of the room, and smoking a cigarette with Lacey Ryden holding an ashtray for her. Katrina is sitting on the leather chairs with her legs crossed, dressed in her ring attire. Gabriel is nodding his head up and down in a slow motion, while Mya stands against the desk with her arms folded, looking down at the floor.]
Mya: I don’t care if we’re not all here right now, because I’m too lost in thought to start head counts and I’m not going to waste time asking Lacey to do it-
[Katrina’s cell phone rings, she apologises and pulls it out of her purse and cancels the call. She puts it down, and smiles at Mya.]
Mya: As I was sayi-
[Katrina’s phone rings for the second time, Mya leaps to her feet, she snatches the cell phone out of her teammate’s hand and begins to rapidly stomp on it and grunts with aggression before looking up. Katrina looks on horrified.]
Mya: We don’t not have time for this right now, I’ve explained to you what’s happening, and we need to be extra-vigilant! We haven’t dealt with this yet, but I have expected it and I’m not planning for anyone to screw it up with stupid things like mobiles!
Katrina: You know, that could have been my husband to tell me something important, and now we won’t know will we? It’s not fair that he gets off his work for a week, and I’m stuck thousands of miles away. I wish he could’ve traveled here but he needs his rest, and if I miss my flight tonigh-
Mya: Oh, be quiet! This is why we’ll have to be extra careful tonight! It’s too bad Charmion isn’t here, as she could’ve covered Lilith’s back in her match later tonight so Kat you’ll just have to do on your own too, does everyone understand?
[The room silently nods and Mya shakes her head in disgust as Katrina picks up the remains of her phone from the floor with a mournful look upon her face. We pan to our commentary team.]
JLT: I wonder what they’re being extra careful about? It seems our cameras have missed their whole discussion tonight, that’s a little sad. It seems that tensions are rising within the Occult, whatever it is it must be important!
Leah: Indeed.
JLT: I wonder if Mya has a last name?
Leah: She does. I know it.
JLT: Well what is it?
Leah: Vagina-Brown.
JLT: Her name is Mya Vagina-Brown?
Leah: Uh-huh. She’s British, that’s a common surname? I know tons of Vagina-Browns!
JLT: A common British name would be something like Smith, or Jones, or Baker, not Vagina-Brown! I highly doubt that’s her name, I think you might have been misinformed.
Leah: Fine, don’t believe me, see if I care! We both know it’s because I’m black…
JLT: Oh…shut up!
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