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Sunday 18th December 2005
He's making a list,
[The camera fades into the dark arena as the fans cheer. As a few seconds the opening tinkle of “All I Want For Christmas” By Mariah Carey begins to play. A spotlight focuses on Mariah sitting in a huge snowflake as she is being lowered from the ceiling down onto the stage. She smiles as the audience cheers for her. She sits with her legs crossed, and brings a microphone to her lips as she sings the opening of the song.]
I don't want a lot for Christmas
[As the snowflake lands on the stage, Mariah stands as the song drops to silence. Various spotlights hit the arena to reveal the set. Three huge white snowflakes line up the back of the stage and slowly twirl around, with a video wall on either side of them. The stage is docked with fake snow, with a sleigh full of colorful presents lies on one stage with small elves wrapping them up and placing them in the bag. They look at Mariah and give her the thumbs on.]
[On the other side of the stage lies a snowman, wearing a black top hat and has a carrot for his nose. The stage’s floor is covered with fake snow, with a man-made pathway from the top of the ramp to the entrance. Mariah walks along it, with her tiny steps and stops at the edge and places a hand on her hip. She smiles.]
[After a few seconds, the rocky beat of the song begins to play as Mariah begins to shake her hips and walks down the ramp, singing into the microphone live. She smiles at the crowd, and runs a hand through her hair.]
I don't want a lot for Christmas
[Mariah dances on the stage, with her extra-short and extra-tight red dress which has a white outline like Santa Claus. The elves drop their presents on the stage and begin to dance with each other, with married elf couples skipping around in a circle.]
I won't ask for much this Christmas
[The lights dim to see Mariah singing her microphone with her supersonic voice, the elves then go back to their sleigh and drag the bag onto the ramp. The elves begin to toss presents into the crowd and hand out presents, Mariah smiles as she sings, moving her hand up and down and jilting the microphone from her mouth.]
All the lights are shining
[Mariah heads back up to the stage, she begins to kick the snow with her shoes and smiles to the crowd. She shakes her hips from side to side as she thunders into her microphone as she gives an excellent live performance.]
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
[Mariah sits back on her snowflake, crossing her tanned legs and her arm leaning onto a bar. She waves to the fans and brings a microphone to her lips, looking down with a grin.]
All I want for Christmas is you baby...
[Mariah ascends into the air as the fans cheer. The arena drops to darkness once again as the fans rise to their feet in applause. The camera cuts to the DU pay-per-view introduction featuring a build-up of past events and a vignette highlighting the matches on tonight’s card. We cut into the arena to the instrumental version of the theme song, the crowd cheers as the camera pans around the audience, picking out the best signs. “Katrina > Santa”, “She has herpes!”, “Tequila Fears Breast Reductions!” and “Ciara = C-De!” are just a few amongst the audience. We pan around the arena once more before we cut to the announce team, JLT smiles dressed smartly in a white dress while Leah sits next to her in a smart suit.]
JLT: Hello everyone and welcome to “Naughty Or Nice” coming to live from Barcelona, Spain! I’m Jamie L. Tyland and next to me is my partner in crime, Leah! We have an awesome show tonight and it should be the perfect way to end the year! We have a barrage of awesome matches, special guests and the festive fever is running high! We’re in Barcelona, one of the most magnificent cities of the world and what better backdrop to our wonderful event tonight!
Leah: That’s right Jamie! Barcelona is so much fun! I bought a sombrero earlier, a donkey, a rubber ring and a time share!
JLT: I don’t think you’re supposed to buy those time share things, they get you into debt and you owe the company millions, they advised us to stay away from them? Didn’t you listen to the woman on the coach?
Leah: The one with the fake tits? Hell no, she was getting on my nerves. All this “you should do this” and “you shouldn’t do that” crap, it was annoying. You’re just jealous because I now have a fancy place on the Costa del Sol! Don’t hate!
JLT: Right? Anyway, we have a fantastic show to you tonight and they don’t come much bigger than a triple threat match for the Unleashed Championship! We’ve got the bounty hunting Ciara Demillo clashing against the big league player Mystika and the returning champion Icenique in a triple threat match! We could have a brand new champion tonight but I’m expecting that there could be some handicap action against Ciara, Mystika and Icenique are the best of friends!
Leah: They’re probably lovers too! The Stripped Championship is on the line as Joanie Storm challenges The Unibrow in a first blood match! That’s brutal, I thought the Stripped belt was supposed to be happy. Like a “Ride The Reindeer Match” or something but no! Joanie has to be all mentally unstable and crazy that she requests a sadistic match, how cliché is that?
JLT: Not very. I think Joanie wants the Unibrow’s blood on her hands and more importantly the title around her waist. We have the Rockford State Championship being defended as Katia takes on the returning Chimera in singles action. Chimera has been ‘stalking’ Katia for many weeks and last week we saw Katia have her statue shoved on top of her, I’m not even sure if Katia is fit to wrestle tonight!
Leah: I think that was part of Chimera’s plan, let’s not forget that she stole Katia’s belt at the hospital. The Tag Team Championships are on the line as the bikini-wearing Body Shop defend against Bloo and Jinx later tonight! Bloo and Jinx have their first shot at the belts tonight and Sexy Amanda has had a tight grip on the belts for almost a full year! Let’s see if we can get new champions heading into 2006! It would be exciting!
JLT: It would indeed. The Askai Championship is determined in a 30 Minute Ironwoman match as Dame Barbara and Katrina fight it out in the ring. Katrina lost weight especially to challenge for the missing belt in her collection but the British legend Barbara is far from letting the belt slip out of her fingers. Especially since she’s gone to such extreme measures to prevent her weight from being revealed!
Leah: I know, fat cow. Carley Monroe and Shayla Walker clash in a “Winter Wonderland” match and they’ll be wrestling on ice with snow round the ring, it should be a pretty interesting match to watch. A first-ever for DU, and Carley and Shayla have both fallen out since Shayla ditched the injured Carley as her trainer, and poor Carley was put through a table by Barbara on Exile a few weeks ago!
JLT: Carley is seething for retribution tonight! We also have Felicity and Tequila returning to the ring to fight for the “Rights To Shane Rockford” with the winner walking out of Spain with the president on their arm. Felicity has a child with Shane, baby girl “Ashley”, but that doesn’t phase Tequila who is used to the high-life with Mr. Rockford. It should be a vicious match!
Leah: It should, we also have Ashley here with a Christmas special and we’re set to have another Christmas party! It’s so exciting, let’s not forget that Mariah Carey is here, it’s my only chance to shoot her!
JLT: You can’t shoot our special guest!
Leah: Please, she is SO up herself! Let me just put a cap in her ass, it won’t hurt. I’ve shot women in the ass before! It didn’t even phase J-Lo!
JLT: You’re unbelievable.
"Winter Wonderland" Match
JLT: We have the first ever “Winter Wonderland” match to start off the show Leah, as Carley Monroe and Shayla Walker clash in the centre of the ring and on ice!
Leah: The two young women have been feuding over a broken friendship, since Shayla called off the friendship to Carley in favour of Barbara and Carley was put through a table by the Dame and Shayla a few weeks ago on Exile!
JLT: Carley will be looking to get revenge tonight, and Shayla will be looking to finally rid herself of what she thinks is a thorn in her backside. Maybe Carley will get the message tonight.
[We cut to John Roe standing in the corner of the ring. The ring has a thick ice layer over the canvas, on the outside of the ring there are officials who empty wheelbarrows of snow and build-up the atmosphere. There are various objects of winter setting placed around the ring, as the ring looks to been transformed into Iceland.]
[Smoke pours out from the entrance way, we then see a female figure standing amdist the smoke with hands on her hips as "Shake Ya Tail Feather" by Nelly begins to play and multicoloured strobe lights begins to flash. Carley Monroe wearing sunglasses and dressed in a short pink top and very short pink shorts and pink boots. Carley then begins making her way down the aisle bumping and grinding to the music much to the fans delight (particularly the large male portion) once up on the apron of the ring Carley wiggles her rear end to the phrase "shake ya tail feathers" then gets into the ring and stands in the center she removes her glasses and raises her arms in the air as three pyro go off behind her one shooting straight up while the two others shoot diagonally right and left.]
John Roe: The following contest is a "Winter Wonderland" match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Los, Angeles, California; at a weight of 110lbs...CARLEY MONROE!!!
["Boom" by P.O.D. begins to blue fireworks at the entrance. Shayla Walker walks down to the ring with Dame Barbara at her side. Shayla hugs Barbara before climing into the ring and standing in her corner.]
John Roe: Her opponent, from Barberton, Ohio; at a weight of 112lbs...SHAYLA WALKER!!!
[Carley and Shayla tie up in on the ice, with Carley pulling Shayla into a headlock. She holds it for a few minutes before she waves at a young fan in the front row, Shayla is able to counter and shoves Carley to the ropes but Carley slips backwards and slams into the harsh floor. Carley holds her head as Shayla tries to bounce to the ropes but ends up slipping forward and guilloting herself on the second rope.]
JLT: I think this Winter Wonderland match is going to be tougher than they expected!
[Both women find their footing as Carley carefully runs towards Shayla, Shayla picks her up in an attempted sidewalk slam but Carley counters the move into a headscissors. Shayla hits the ice and rises up, Carley then stands and waves to the fans. Shayla comes from behind Carley, pulling her into a Russian leg sweep and slamming her into the canvas.]
[Shayla then climbs to her feet and nails a standing leg drop to Carley. Shayla then climbs to the top rope, she positions herself as Carley finds her feet. Carley does and Shayla leaps from the top with a diving cross body but Carley ducks as Shayla hits the ice hard and skids across the ring. Carley dances on the ropes and props herself on the top turnbuckle.]
JLT: Carley does love to showboat!
[Shayla then approaches Carley’s corner as Carley grabs her by her head and pulls her into a tornado DDT. Carley stands and then begins to pose for the fans once more, and adjusts herself for camera poses. Shayla Walker climbs to her feet and bounces to the ropes, she slides across the ring using her feet towards Carley. Carley is able to counter Shayla but nailing a back body drop over the top rope, sending Shayla flying out of the ring and into the snow on the outside of the ring.]
Leah: Shayla Walker went ice-skating there! She could show Michelle Kwan a thing or two!
[Carley then turns and pulls back on the ropes, she leaps over with an attempted plancha but Shayla moves out of the way as Carley collides into the snow. Shayla then rests against the steel steps before bringing Carley to her feet, she knees Carley in the mid-section and slams her head into the ring apron.]
[Shayla then tries to Irish whip Carley into the steel steps but Carley reverses it and Shayla collides with them. Carley then has an idea and begins to pick up snow into a pile, she scoops all the snow around and giggles to herself.]
JLT: Is she making a snowman?!
Leah: It looks like it!
[Carley then picks up a snowball and tosses it at Shayla, hitting her in the face. Shayla then tries to claw the ice from her eyes as Carley completes her snowman, creating a three-story ‘blob’ almost the same size as her. She turns around as Shayla Walker charges towards her, Carley leaps out of the way as Shayla connects with the snowman, spearing him into the floor.]
Leah: She killed the snowman! Murderer!
[Carley then rolls Shayla back into the ring, she waves to the fans before bringing Shayla to her feet and whipping her to the ropes. Carley gets in position for a back body drop but Shayla counters the move into a DDT, driving Carley face first into the ice. Shayla then rolls Carley over for a cover.]
[1]
[2]
[Carley gets her shoulder up.]
[Shayla then grabs Carley by her head and begins to ram her head into the ice canvas. Shayla then places Carley in the corner and executes three shoulder blocks to her mid-section. Shayla props Carley on the top rope and slaps her across the face, Shayla then climbs up with Carley and hooks her into a superplex position. Shayla then leans backwards as both women crash smack into the canvas.]
JLT: Shayla nailed a huge superplex from the top rope! It has to be over!
Leah: Carley is broken in half!
[Shayla then lies an arm across Carley, and places both feet on the second rope, a trick she got from Barbara.]
[1]
[2]
[Carley gets her shoulder up.]
[Shayla then stands and shakes her head, she approaches the referee and begins to argue with him. Shayla then walks to a corner and undoes the second turnbuckle. The referee walks over to her and yanks her away and begins to tie the turnbuckle up. Suddenly a blonde slides into the ring as Shayla turns around, she runs at the blonde swinging with a clothesline but the mysterious woman ducks pulls Shayla into Carley's “The Cutdown” reverse DDT finisher, planting her in the solid ice. The mysterious woman then drags Carley over Shayla in a pin as the referee turns and counts.]
Leah: Who the hell was that?!
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[2]
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JLT: Whoever it was she got Carley the victory! She looks a lot like Carley actually!
John Roe: Here is your winner…CARLEY MONROE!!!
[“Shaka Ya Tailfeather” by Nelly resumes as Carley raises to her feet with a smile across her face, she holds her head and lower back as she leaps into the air with excitement and begins to applaud herself. The mysterius woman slides into the ring and hugs Carley. The mysterious woman and Carley begins to celebrate for the fans, ecstatic with her victory.]
JLT: Carley gained a measure of revenge against Shayla Walker tonight! I guess you shouldn’t turn on your friends, huh?
Leah: Unless you keep your friends closer than your enemies, then you can turn on them.
JLT: I think you had that the wrong way wrong around, anyway, well done Carley! What an interesting match!
Leah: It was, I wonder who that woman was?
[We cut backstage to see a white stretched limousine pulling into the parking lot. It comes to a halt as the driver exits and opens the back door, Livia steps out wearing a nice blue dress. She extends her hands into the limo and pulls Katia out, Katia stands stiffly wearing a white neck brace and a purple eyepatch. Livia adjusts the strap of Katia’s bag, placing it on her shoulder and smiles at her. Katia smiles back.]
Katia: How do I look?
Livia: Good!
Katia: Honestly?
Livia: Well, honestly, honestly you look stiff, but nobody will notice. Come on, let’s get inside. It’s freezing out here! Europe is so cold in winter.
[Katia walks into the arena stiffly with Livia at her side. Livia smiles back at her and the two enter the arena, Krysta Taylor walks past and stops in her tracks. She turns to Katia and points and laughs loudly. Katia rolls her eyes.]
Krysta Taylor: Wow! You must be one of our special guests. They didn’t tell me that Snake Plissken was coming!
Katia: What?
Krysta Taylor: Did you come all the way from New York or was it LA?
Katia: I have no idea what you’re on about. You must be one of those poor people on drugs, were you looking for some money to go and get your fix?
Krysta Taylor: No, I was just laughing at how ridiculous you look.
Katia: Oh, Krysta, how sweet. You’re in dire of need of a stylist, your face is drowning in makeup, there’s probably more semen in your hair than in a navy submarine and you still have the pride to come out to work. That takes something!
[Katia then applauds as Krysta’s eyes narrow.]
Krysta Taylor: Come on then Plissky, is that the best you got?
Katia: It’s not actually!
[Katia then nails Krysta in the face with a forearm as Krysta falls to the fall. Krysta then stands and shoves Katia down, climbing on top of her and clawing at her face. She rams Katia’s head into the floor and nails a few shots the neck. Katia pushes her off and nails a kick to her face, Katia then gets to her feet and tosses Krysta into a wall, as Krysta hits it head on and falls to the floor.]
Katia: You stupid whore! Don’t you ever lay your hands on me again!
[Katia stands and laughs at the fallen body of Krysta. Livia joins her side as Katia clutches her neck. Katia then glances at Livia and talks with a smile.]
Katia: I’ll get my championship belt back without a doubt. I miss it already. How dare Chimera steal it from me, I’ll have to sterilize it the minute I get it back, who knows where her hands have been!
[Katia then turns stiffly and walks in the opposite direction. Livia follows, carrying the fabulous one’s bags. The camera cuts to see Krysta lying on the floor, clutching her hair as officials backstage tend to her.]
JLT: Katia may be injured but she’s still capable of doing some damage! Did you see what she did to Krysta?
Leah: Please, Krysta is an easy target compared to Chimera. I wonder how Snake Plissken will do against her!
JLT: Are you going to call her Snake all evening now? Just because Katia has an eye patch?
Leah: Of course!
[Shayla Walker is backstage and walks through the halls of the arena, humming the song "Jingle Bells". Everybody she walks by wishes her a belated birthday. She walks past Holly Wentz, Holly offers her a polite smile as she passes.]
Holly Wentz: Happy belated birthday Shayla.
Shayla Walker: Thanks Holly!
[Shayla turns a corner and slams into Sexy Amanda and Heather Amanda. Shayla steps back at looks at Amanda, Amanda then smiles.]
Sexy Amanda: Happy birthday sis. I meant belated birthday.
[Heather just nods and smiles.]
Shayla Walker: Thanks Amanda! Thanks Heather!
[Shayla continues to smile and hum as she enters her dressing room that she shares with her mentor, Dame Barbara. Barbara stands with a smile as Tabitha is seen in the bathroom, she kicks the door shut. Barbara laughs as Shayla scowls.]
Dame Barbara: Oh Shayla, all recovered from your match?
Shayla Walker: Yeah, that ice hurt. It was painful landing on it, and it was so slippery.
Dame Barbara: By the way, this package was delivered for you by a stagehand. He said a blonde haired woman.
[Shayla gets a confused look on her face. She ponders the reason a blonde haired woman delivered it and frowns. Shayla didn't have time to ponder it as she was handed a package in blue wrapping paper. Shayla ripped open the wrapping paper and then opened the box. Inside was a set of keys and a birthday card. Shayla read the card out loud.]
Shayla Walker: A very special gift for a very special someone. Please hold on to these keys for when you get your license. Enjoy the car because it was expensive. Love someone you don't remember.
[Shayla looks up confused.]
Shayla Walker: What the hell? Is this woman some kind of a stalker?
Dame Barbara: Don't know, but I did get a call from my granddaughter that a 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse was delivered to the house this morning. It was painted royal blue.
[Shayla looks at the card again and shakes her head, trying to make sense of it. Tabitha then opens the bathroom door and smiles, she emerges with a cake with the candles light. Barbara and Tabitha then sing to Shayla who smiles, she tosses the card to one side. Tabitha presents the white cake to Shayla and has “Happy Birthday Shayla!” written in pink icing. Shayla looks surprised]
Tabitha Windsor: Well! Make a wish and blow out the candles!
[Shayla then leans into the cake and blows the candle out as Barbara applauds. Barbara then hugs Shayla as Tabitha sets the cake down on a table before hugging the new 17 year old. We cut back to ringside.]
Leah: I want cake!
JLT: It looks like Shayla is celebrating a belated birthday, it’s nice of Barbara to give her that cake. I thought Barbara was a complete bitch but she has some heart.
Leah: She has a heart. It’s just very, very, very old.
-FWAs 2005 Vignette-
[We see Icenique backstage. She’s adjusting her ring attire with the Unleashed belt around her waist. Icey is trying on her top, she smiles in the mirror and heads back to her bag. Icenique is in her lavish locker room, complete with fresh fruit and leather chairs. She stands at a table, and rummages around in her back. She pulls out a bottle of lip gloss from her bag and sniffs it. She heads back to the mirror and begins to re-apply it.]
[After several seconds, a figure suddenly smashes through the mirror at great speed and slams Icenique into the floor. The glass shatters onto the floor as Icenique lies on the floor, the mysterious figure then stands as the camera pans around to reveal Lilith standing over Icenique.]
[Icenique lies amongst the glass, unconscious as Lilith stands over her. Lilith smiles a toothless grin, and leans down, grabbing Icenique by her hair and dragging her out of the room.]
JLT: Lilith is back! Where she did come from!
Leah: From behind the mirror! Like in the movies! What’s that guy called?
JLT: Well, I think he’s on some other wrestling promotion so we might get sued if we mention who it is.
Standard Match
JLT: Next up we have Bloo and Jinx challenging for the Tag Team Championships! “BJ” has been exchanging chair shots with the Body Shop in recent weeks on Ashley’s show, preventing the British teen from interviewing either side!
Leah: Trixie even joined Bloo and Jinx for a handicap match but Trixie’s involvement in the match lead to a loss for “BJ”. Shane Rockford made this match last week and I’m pretty sure that Trixie will be a factor at ringside tonight!
JLT: Indeed she will, Trixie is determined to lead her lover and her sister to their first championship belt in Divas Unleashed!
[The lights in the arena turn blue as "Last Night On Earth" by Powerman 5000 hits the sound system. Just then Bloo come walking out. right behind Bloo is her friend/ manager Trixie. The audience gives off a mixed reaction to the two as Bloo and Trixie head to the ring. Before they enter the ring Bloo walks around it looking for a fan. Once she find the fan, weither it be male or female, she then gives that lucky person a kiss, sometimes on the cheek other times on the lips, alway leaving behind a blue kiss mark.]
John Roe: The following match is for the Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 229lbs, to be accompanied by Trixie the Pixie...BLOO & JINX!!!
[Suddenly from behind comes Amanda and Heather, armed with chairs. They stand behind the trio waiting for them to turn around, Jinx senses something behind her and turns as Amanda slams her across the head with a chair. Bloo turns around and is met with a chair into the gut before Heather nails her across the head.]
[Trixie tries to run out of the ring but Amanda pulls her back and into a full nelson. Heather then lifts the chair up and slams it into Trixie’s head as she falls to the floor, Amanda then drives the chair into Bloo’s chest a couple of times before dropping to a cover.]
JLT: They’re not serious!
[Heather demands the referee counts and threatens to hit him with the chair, he then calls for the bell and drops to his knees. He counts Bloo’s fallen shoulders as Amanda smiles, and Heather looks on with a grin.]
Leah: Ha! The Body Shop win!
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe: Here are your winners and STILL Tag Team Champions…THE BODY SHOP!!!
[Sexy Amanda stands from her position on the cover with a smile on her face, she turns to Heather and the two high five. They snatch their championships from the ring announcer and parade them above their head, Amanda then throws Heather and the crowd a dirty look as she exits the ring. Heather follows after her as the fans boo.]
JLT: What a cheap victory! It’s a disgrace to call them champions!
Leah: They’re champions with dirty tactics, I like it!
[We cut backstage to see Katrina and Kristin Wallace-Hudson at the infamous drinks table. Katrina grabs a bottle of water from the ice bucket and opens it. She stands dressed in her ring attire, ready for action. Next to her is Kristin Wallace-Hudson dressed in a white and red dress and opens a can of Pepsi. Kristin raises her eyebrows to Katrina.]
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