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Sunday 25th April 2004
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
God save the Queen of Pain
The cameras pan into a darkened arena, where the stage is set up with the Big Ben Clock tower on one end, a two story bus with the Union Jack painted all over it, and red telephone booths as well as the ever stiff British Royal Guards inbetween them, as above the the telephones and Phone Booths is the ever gigantic diva-tron. The ramp is in the style of the Tower Bridge as it extends halfway down the ramp.
“Rule Britainnia” begins to play as Shirley Bassey sings the orchestral ballad in the ring. After about a minute of singing, the pyros begin to shoot off along 'Tower Bridge' and the rest of the set in red, white & blue.
The camera then infamously pans to the audience who have their signs locked and loaded for the skies, they push and shove but the successors are the signs such as “I want Laura to Jump My Tower Bridge!” “I see London, but I hate France, please show us Tara's underpants!!!” “Katrina, The Queen Of Ladders.” are just a few of the signs broadcasted to the world-wide audience.
We then cut to the announce table, where Renegade & JLT are sitting proudly, with the crowd at ringside. Renegade is dressed in a 'Braveheart' type outfit with a mask, as JLT is seen wearing a crown.
Renegade: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London England!!! It is here tonight at Rule Britainnia that we will see one of the greatest matches in Unleashed history, just as we prepare to enter into the last month of Divas Unleashed Year One, where we celebrate it all with Forsaken Destiny
JLT: But to avoid getting ahead of ourselves, we had some explosive matches tonight, the most volatile being that of our Ladder Match main event, as Katrina takes on Star in her first headlining match ever for Star's ever-coveted Unleashed Championship.
Renegade: Star last defended against Bianca, and tonight Bianca will face off for the second most prestigious title, one she is no stranger to, as herself & Divas Unleashed own Anti-Heroine Mya fight it out in a three round "Typically British" match for Mya's Stripped Championship.
JLT: The Stripped Championship has had an illustrios line of great champions to hold that belt, and one of those is Yuku Shiro, who will be defending her Tag Team Championship titles alongside her wife Tara Lee-Shiro against Jake Wild's latest ploy into diva management, Miss Felicity & Valeria Sanchez, a tandem he likes to call Team X.
Renegade: Another rising team in the Divas Unleashed roster is Kamikaze, made up of Pandora & Nyssa. The masked women will be competing in singles matches tonight however as Pandora faces off against Laura in a "Jump London" contest for her Askai Championship, and Nyssa faces off in a match made over two months ago for Rule Britainnia, against the giant from Texas, Athena.
JLT: From matches being made months ago, to matches being made just recently, dark newcomer Lelenya will square off against Selena as the ever evil Lilith guest referees the match.
Renegade: Speaking of evil, Dee Snuts has been making Mystika's life a living hell lately. From sleeping with her boyfriend Joel and breaking them up, to attacking Mystika numerous times, Dee has made sure Mystika has not been happy.
JLT: And tonight Mystika gets her chance for vengeance as she battles Dee with her Rockford State Championship on the line in a Dog Collar match!
Renegade: I can't wait for that one! As well as the encounter between Emerald O'Conner & Kaci Russell, who hate each other more than Dee & Mystika... Emerald caused Kaci's miscarraige of Gabriel's child... even though she was raped.
JLT: Well, as much as I look forward to the beating between those two, the in ring return of Tequila after over a year of not wrestling has me extremely excited. I think I may just wet myself.
Renegade: I've had my fair share of wet dreams about Tequila, and tonight she will be forced into a match against her good friend Crystal! We're not even sure if Tequila can wrestle or not!
JLT: I guess we'll find out tonight. But before we get to any of those matches we just mentioned, we are going to see some six-woman tag team action as the latest arrivals to Divas Unleashed try to stake their claim as Bloo, Hope & Faith take on Jenna Talia, Mercedez & Veronica.
Renegade: Hah! You're wrong! We have to start with the first round of the Stripped Championship! Get naked!
Stripped Championship "Typically British" Match: Round 1
Renegade: We've got our first round of the Striped Championship tonight. Ever since Mya pushed Bianca off the stage in a dumpster ending their three-round match on Exile, these two have been feuding like crazy!
JLT: Bianca wants the championship after she was cheated and just last week Mya ended her match short so she could wrestle instead!
Renegade: And Krysta's officiating. Yum.
["Get This Party Started" by Pink plays as Krysta Taylor struts out and walks to the ring with her blonde hair flowing and dressed in a short white dress. She climbs into the ring and takes a microphone from John Roe.]
Krysta Taylor: What's up London! You guys having fun tonight?
[The fans cheer.]
Krysta Taylor: You know why I'm out here. It's time for the first round of the Stripped Championship and without further ado let's get both divas down here so we can really get this party started.
["Baddest Bitch" by Trina plays as Bianca walks out wearing a long red robe and waves to the fans. She walks down the apron and has the Union Jack face-painted on her cheek. She climbs into the ring and shakes hands with Krysta.]
["The Watchtower" by Cult of Luna then overtakes the rap music as Mya walks out without her allies or Gabriel and walks down to the ring with her belt over her shoulder resting on her blue rope. She climbs into the ring. Both women then climb onto podiums.]
Krysta Taylor: Does anybody remember this?
[The lights go out and on the screen comes the sound of the Spice Girls performing at the Brits 97'. She walks forward in her famous Union Jack dress and sings her part. We then cut to Krysta.]
["Who Do You Think You Are" by the Spice Girls plays and both women shed their robes to reveal matching dresses. Both women step down from their podiums and walk forward as Bianca bends over and pushes her boobs up. Both women dance and then return to their podiums as Krysta smiles.]
Krysta Taylor: So now, do you guys think Bianca should win? Or Mya?
["Bianca" name begins to be chanted as Mya rolls her eyes and Krysta raises Bianca's arm up into the arm. Mya then puts on her robes as Bianca waves and poses for the fans. Krysta and Bianca then hug and leave the ring.]
Renegade: Bianca picks up the first victory of tonight. If she wins the next one then she'll win the Stripped Championship!
JLT: I still don't see how this is wrestling...
Renegade: Lesbian!
Six-Woman Debutants Tag Team Match
Renegade: We've got six new divas debuting right now.
JLT: Both teams hope to get their careers off to a flying start.
[The arena fades to a blue strobe light and Bloo's music hits as she walks out dressed in blue with her hair blue and a slightly gothic appearance. Hope and Faith Clarkson then walk out as she heads down the ramp. Hope and Faith kiss each other and their manager slash mother figure Christine follows behind them.]
John Roe: The following contest is a six-woman tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, to be accompanied to the ring by Christine....BLOO & HOPE N' FAITH!!!
[Bloo slides under the bottom rope and poses on the ropes as her partners climb into the ring and stand in unity next to each other. Christine then begins to discuss strategy with them as all four women huddle.]
Renegade: Oh I get it! Bloo! Like blue! Hahaha!
JLT: You're pretty slow...
[Italian style-music plays as Christine leaves the ring. From behind comes the FBI and Veronica. The referee calls for the bell. Mercedez and Jenna toss Hope and Faith over the top rope and then exit to their corner as Veronica whips Bloo to a corner. Veronica then runs after her with a running clothesline.]
[Veronica then gets Bloo in a headlock and runs her along the ropes burning her forehead in a rope burn before tossing her to her butt and soccer kicking her in the back. Veronica then kneels down and gets her in a chinlock but Hope has entered the ring and dropkicks Veronica in the face sending her off her submission.]
[Veronica then bounces herself to the ropes but Jenna kicks her in the back. Veronica turns around as Jenna blames it as a reflex action, Veronica then tries it again and Jenna still kicks her. Veronica then walks over to Jenna and knife edge chops her across the chest.]
JLT: Harsh tag!
Renegade: Jenna is so stupid! You don't attack your own partner!
[Jenna then climbs into the ring as Bloo tags in Faith Clarkson. Faith runs into the ring and spears down Jenna. Faith then runs to the ropes and bounces back with a leg drop before scooping her up and executing a high elevated back breaker. Faith then tags in her lesbian lover Hope and the two whip Jenna to the ropes.]
[Faith grabs Jenna by her mid-section making her hanging as Hope grabs her head and both drive her into the canvas. Christine yells instructions as Hope brings Jenna to her feet and suplexes her into the canvas. Jenna starts to crawl to her corner but Hope grabs her legs pulling her back into the ring, Jenna turns over and sends both of them into her face making Hope stagger backwards.]
[Jenna then tags in Mercedez as she leaps onto the top rope, Mercedez then kicks Veronica sending her off the apron before leaping onto Hope with a swinging DDT. Mercedez then hits the second rope and leaps backwards with a springboard moonsault and covers.]
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[Bloo and Faith both nail a baseball slides to Mercedez face. They then clothesline her over the top rope but she lands on her feet. Veronica then takes her down by kicking her in the face and then whipping her into the steel steps.]
[Jenna then leaps into the ring but is caught by all three women. Bloo then nails a brainbuster driving her opponent into the canvas, meanwhile the Clarksons scale the turnbuckle. Bloo slams Jenna's head into the canvas and at the same time Faith leaps with a body splash and Hope with a leg drop as they both land onto Jenna. Hope covers.]
[Veronica slides into the ring but is held back by Christine as the referee counts.]
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John Roe: Here are you winners...BLOO & HOPE N' FAITH!!!
[Christine then climbs into the ring and raises Hope and Faith's arm. Bloo climbs to the turnbuckle and Veronica leaves ringside making sure giving another kick to Mercedez for good measure.]
JLT: Bloo and Hope and Faith pick up the victory. Bad team work for their rival team though! They beat up their own partner!
Renegade: Oh god, Bloo...that is so clever!
[Jake EB Wild is arriving at the arena. He is dressed in baggy jeans and a tanktop and is carrying a duffel bag with thick sunglasses. He walks along a corridor until Miss Rhiannon pulls him by his bag in another locker room.]
Miss Rhiannon: I want to do it right here right now!
Jake EB Wild: I have to get to my locker room...
Miss Rhiannon: Fine. We'll do it later. But I have someone for you to meet! We can have a threesome. Come on in Sas!
[A creek is heard as the bathroom door opens and out walks a blond woman dressed in a lacy outfit. She smirks and shakes Jake's hand as Rhiannon looks on. Jake takes off his sunglasses and the woman's face drops.]
Woman: Jake EB Wild? Jake?
Jake EB Wild: Sassy Allundra. How are you doing?
Sassy: Good! Wow. I haven't seen you in years!
[Rhiannon frowns and interupts.]
Miss Rhiannon: Do you two know each other?
Sassy: Do we know each other? We were in porn together. We starred in Sex Toy Story and Womb Raider!
Miss Rhiannon: Wonderful...you'll be great in bed then!
[Suddenly there is a knock at the door and Miss Felicity enters looking pissed.]
Miss Felicity: Jake?! What the hell are you doing here! We need you? Are you our manager or what!
Jake EB Wild: I'm sorry, I was on my way!
[Jake leaves the room and Felicity grabs both Rhiannon and Sassy by the collar.]
Felicity: If you go near him ever again...I'll kick your ass to China!
Askai Championship "Jump London" Match
[The cameras switch to the middle of Piccadilly Circus in London, where Laura and Pandora are both standing, looking each other in the eye, and mouthing insults at one-another faster than a Mexican Jumping Bean.]
John Roe: This next contest is for the DU Askai Championship, and is a "Jump London Rules" Match! From Mito, Japan and weighing in at 130lbs, PANDORA!!!
[Pandora acknowledges the crowd of people all around Piccadilly Circus and continues to try and psych out Laura.]
John Roe: And the champion, from Oshkosh, Wisconsin, weighing in at 134lbs, LAURA!!!
[Laura continues to stare at Pandora, shouting at her to bite her clit. One day, she'll be surprised by the one person who actually takes her up on that offer. The bell rings, and the pair go straight at each other full throttle with various trades of punches. Pandora manages to get the upper hand and drags Laura to the ground and begins to kick and kick at her as the crowd around her cheers on. She quickly applies a Boston Crab on Laura to weaken the poor girl, to which Laura tries to desperately get out of as Pandora applies the pressure.]
Renegade: What a way to start this contest off!!!
JLT: You say that ever match...
[Pandora keeps the pressure going, but Laura looks to be getting out of it by turning onto her front... and she does!!! Laura quickly grabs one of Pandora's legs and tries to apply a figure four leglock, to which she succeeds as Pandora tries herself to reverse the hold! Laura pushes down hard and heavy, but Pandora manages to throw Laura off somewhat as she gets to her feet and takes Laura down straight away with a hurricanrana! Pandora grabs Laura by the hair, and noticing the Red Bus to her far left, runs with Laura in tow. As she gets there, she throws Laura into the side of the bus!!!]
JLT: Pandora is in control now, and it looks like she could be walking away with this one!
Renegade: Is there a place called Askai in Japan? Because maybe she can rename the belt to the Mito Championship!
JLT: The fact that it took you this whole time to think of that amazes me, it really does.
[Pandora picks Laura up, and goes to throw her into the bus again, but Laura is quick to react and hits an over-head belly-to-belly suplex that sends her through one of the windows!!! The crowds gasp in sheer shock!!!]
JLT: OH GOOD GOD!!!
Renegade: I know!!! That wasn't even our bus to destroy!!!
JLT: Your compassion astounds me...
[Laura goes around and onto the bus as it starts up the engines, and she goes to grab Pandora who throws broken little shards of glass at her!!! Laura screams as the bus starts to move and sends both girls to the floor in a sharp movement. As the bus gets onto the road in the direction of Buckingham Palace, Laura and Pandora both try to get up. Pandora makes the move on Laura, but Laura out of nowhere leaps up and hits The High Hurdle on Pandora, sending her into the stairs of the bus!!! Laura puts the stomps in on her, then jumps over her and drags her up the stairs.]
Renegade: Laura is fighting back now! What a match!
JLT: Match? What a fight!
[The bus passes Buckingham Palace and heads on toward the Houses of Parliment as Laura pulls Pandora up the stairs and onto the top of the bus, which is open-top for obvious reasons. Laura pushes Pandora down and goes for a pin attempt that can't be fufilled as the referee hasn't even gotten on the bus!!!]
Renegade: Wait! Where in the hell is the referee?
JLT: I think he might be driving the bus!!!
Renegade: No! He's still in Piccadilly Circus!!!
[The referee is shown on TV to indeed still be in Piccadilly Circus as the action ensues with Laura getting angry and repeatedly slapping and punching at Pandora, then trying to remove her mask from her head!!! Pandora struggles to stop her though, and she succeeds by throwing Laura over her. She then leaps over with a quick headlock on Laura to wear her down as the bus now passes through the streets of London with the House of Parliment up ahead in sight!]
JLT: How did the referee not get onto the bus?
Renegade: Forget that! They're passing the Houses of Parliment!!!
JLT: Is that where the Archbishop of Cantebury lives?
Renegade: No, that's Stamford Bridge I think...
[The bus makes a turn as Laura gets up and tries to shake off the headlock by elbowing Pandora a few times. The force of the sharp turn however sends them both to the side of the bus. Laura tries once again to pull Pandora's mask off, and again Pandora tries to struggle away as the bus now turns onto Tower Bridge, over the Thames River!!!]
[The referee parks the bus and Pandora uses the distraction to jump on Laura's head and hit her finishing move "The Flying Dragon"!!! Pandora covers Laura.]
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[The referee picks up Pandora and gives her the Askai Championship as the crow cheers. Pandora steps off the bus and walks towards the the edge of the bridge and poses with her championship in perfect promotion form as she tries to catch her breath.]
[Laura suddenly runs from out of the bus and kicks Pandora in the face, causing Pandora to fly over the barricade!!! Pandora screams as she flies off the bridge into Thames River!!!!]
JLT: OH MY DEAR GOD!!! Laura just threw her off the bridge and into Thames River!!!
Renegade: GOD!!! What the hell just happened?!?
[Cameras show a black Humvee 2 pull up to the Wembley Arena.]
JLT: Who the heck is that?
Renegade: Don't know...
[As the vehicle parks the driver door opens, and out hops Yuku in her
Lady Dark Fist attire, with a ball bat in hand, and ½ of the Divas
Unleashed Tag title in her head. Tara hops out of the passenger side
chain mail tank top, blue leather jeans pants, and knee high leather
boots. Her hair is braided as she holds her half of the Divas
Unleashed Tag titles in her hand. Yuku looks around as her wife walks
around meet her on the other side.]
JLT: The Tag Team Champions rolling in a Hummer this time.
Yuku Shiro: Okay...let's get him side...
[The door to the rear door to the Humvee opens.]
JLT: Someone else coming out of the vehicle...
Renegade: I wonder who it is?
Tara Lee-Shiro: Yuku...the bloody camera...
[Yuku quickly slams the door telling whoever to stay inside, she then
walks up to the camera pointing the bat at the camera.]
Yuku Shiro: You got 5 seconds to take that camera and begone...or
BOTH you and it will begone...5...4...3...2...
[The camera quickly turns and runs into the arena but the producer is heard yelling keep filming. Through the doors comes Tara Lee-Shiro who looks annoyed and goes to hit the filming camera after being told to go away. But her punch is blocked as she sees a blonde standing in the corner she smiles.]
[Tara walks over to her and taps her on her shoulder, two large melon boobs turn around and there stands Jordan. The two hug as Tara compliments her on her revealing top and hot pants.]
Jordan: You alright?
Tara Lee-Shiro: I'm great. What are you doing here?
Jordan: Not like me to miss a party is it? I have something for you.
[Jordan reaches into her handbang and pulls out a copy of "Being Jordan" and hands it to Tara.]
Tara Lee-Shiro: Thank you. You're boobs are looking fab.
Jordan: So are yours! Anyway I got to go. Peter needs me to give him head. Bye.
[Jordan then waves bye as Tara looks on lovingly. She then demands the camera be turned off and it is. We cut to ringside.]
JLT: Jordan is here!
Renegade: I love her chest!
Standard Match
JLT: Athena asking for the microphone....this is rather unorthodox
before a Pay-Per-Vew match...
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